You probably already recognize that you and your partner experience the world in fundamentally different ways, maybe in areas like sensory sensitivities, your communication styles or emotional regulation.  But what to do about this? Navigating these differences requires mutual empathy, patience, and a willingness to learn from and believe your partner's experience- but after years of hurt and struggle, it can be hard to do this without outside support. Luke invites both partners to create an environment for each other to feel safe enough to access their own truth and express it in a way their partner can better understand. 

Many neurodivergent individuals realize that masking is a significant aspect of their lives. It's an attempt to adapt to life in a world built for neurotypicals, but most people find masking to negatively impact them and lead to mental and physical side effects, including burnout.  In a relationship, this could look like sudden withdrawal, irritability, or emotional shutdowns that seem disproportionate to the situation. Recognizing these patterns as signs of stress rather than rejection helps partners respond with compassion rather than confusion or hurt. Creating times for both people to be their most authentic selves, without judgment is vital for the long-term health of the individuals and relationship. 

Communication and repair are notoriously difficult in neurodiverse relationships, where differences in processing, expression, and understanding can easily lead to miscommunication. Many partners become frustrated because their frequent miscommunication holds them back from growth as a couple. Coming up against the same resistance and road blocks over and over creates painful distance between each other. Luke supports couples as they navigate the complicated waters of communicating in a way that feels authentic to them, while being mindful of their partners' need to understand. When a healthy balance can be found, partners grow in genuine understanding of one another and develop the strength to regularly build bridges of repair. 

Neurodiverse partners may express or interpret emotions in very different ways, making satisfying emotional connection complicated. One partner might seek verbal reassurance or emotional nuance, while the other may struggle to recognize or respond to these cues in real time. One partner may want to go out on adventures together, while the other wants to snuggle up and be together at home. One partner may be direct and straight-forward, which the other could interpret this as cold and uncaring.  One partner may crave frequent time together, while the other needs a lot of alone time. Whatever the difference, partners often report feelings of disconnection or rejection, even when care is present between each other. Luke helps partners tap into patience, curiosity, and a willingness to learn each other’s emotional language, so that they can create shared relational rhythms that honor both partners’ needs and ways of relating.

Over-functioning and under-functioning dynamics are common in neurodiverse relationships, often emerging from attempts to manage differences in executive functioning, communication, or emotional regulation. A combination of over and under-functioning can be present in each partner, and can lead to a lack of healthy individuation between partners. One partner may take on more responsibilities—organizing, initiating, or emotionally caretaking—while the other may become more passive or dependent, not out of laziness but due to overwhelm or difficulty navigating certain tasks. These patterns are highly adaptive responses that often develop as a result of childhood conditioning, rather than personal failings. However, over time, these imbalances can create disconnection, resentment, or burnout. Luke supports couples to recognize the specifics of their own patterns, clarify strengths and limits, and redistribute roles more equitably- which opens the doors to greater trust and intimacy. 

Special interests and hobbies are a source of joy, self-regulation and a powerful avenue for connection and mutual appreciation. For neurodivergent individuals, engaging with special interests can be deeply fulfilling and grounding, helping reduce stress and enhance well-being. When partners take time to understand, support, or even participate in each other’s interests—whether or not they share the same enthusiasm—it fosters respect, intimacy, and a sense of being seen and valued for who they truly are. Luke helps partners explore their interests openly with their partner, and their partner to receive their vulnerability with honor and care.  Couples that can learn to embrace one another's passions, find their relationship enriched, expanded and simply more fun!